Our species it seems, is in a state of constant “want”. Whether its a faster car, a bigger house or a better body, we just can’t quite find that inner peace that the gurus tell us we’re supposed to have. We want more, plain and simple and no matter how many hours we work or how much money we spend, the grass is always a little greener just on the other side.

And to some extent, I think that’s how its suppose to be. The green-eyed monster aside, I think our desire to grow and expand is inherent to our nature and is why we are alive. Think about it for a moment: if we’re not moving forward, then we’re not moving at all and its at those times that we begin to feel uninspired and well… stagnant.

What trips us up however is balancing our desires with our reality. Its very easy to say “I want to own my own business, work from home, buy a new car, travel the world, go back to school…” but if we’re currently living payday to payday in a dead-end job that leaves us exhausted and depleted at the end of the day, finding a way to make that jump from “this is me” to “that’s who I want to be” can seem like an impossible feat.

But in truth, you are where you are because of the choices you made in your life. That’s not to say that you didn’t make them for good reasons - you probably did. We “do what we have to do” after all and if working two jobs to make ends meet is what is called for, then that’s what we’ll do.

But that’s not where we have to stay.

If I look back on my life, I can clearly see the places, people and events that crossed my path and either altered my direction or influenced my decision to stay on course. At the time of course, these little gifts from the Universe weren’t so obvious but in retrospect, everything most definitely happens for a reason.

One person in particular was a girl that lived down the street from my mother. I had never met her nor did I ever see her again but while visiting my mom one evening, there she was on the doorstep. It was apparent she had been crying and wanted to know if she could use the phone. Luckily, I was still young enough not to be completely jaded and brought her the cordless phone out onto the porch. She made her call - I can’t tell you who it was too or what it was about but it was definitely short and she tapped on the door to hand the phone back to me.

What followed however was a soul-searching, open-hearted conversation that lasted for an hour and a half and it all started with me asking “are you okay?”

Long story short, she was in an abusive relationship, not to the point that she feared for her life but bad enough that she was starting to accept blame for his behavior. She felt frustrated, desperate and trapped in a situation she couldn’t escape. “I made my bed,” she said. “And now I have to lie in it.”

“That may be true,” I countered. “But that doesn’t mean you can’t change the sheets.”

I’d like to say that my witty little analogy inspired her to take responsibility for her life and make some serious changes. But to be honest, I don’t know what she chose to do. I do know however, that my reply made her think if just for a moment and it has stuck with me ever since.

So, now when I start to complain about the circumstances I face, I remember that I can change the sheets whenever I like. Its this attitude that allowed me to quit a day job I had been moaning about for years and finally launch my own freelance business. It is what allowed me to leave my comfort zone of the city and move out to the country where I’ve experienced more than I could have ever imagined and we’re not even through the second year yet.

Changing the sheets allows me to move from point A to point B, even if its in a series of small baby steps and it is how I find the “greener grass” that we all seem to be searching for.

So, how do you “change the sheets”?

You can start by identifying your “point B”. You know where you are - the question is: where do you want to go?

Pull out a piece of paper and write down your ideal day. What are you doing? Where are you living? How do you spend your time? Give details - dont’ just say “I’m self-employed”. Instead describe with great passion the kind of business you run. Do you surf? Swim? Study foreign languages? Are you a doctor, lawyer or mad-scientist living on some tropical island? Married or single? Kids or not? Do you have animals? Do you meditate? Perhaps you practice tai-chi every morning before going on a 5-mile jog. Never mind how far it is from your present “point A” - your job is simply to identify your “perfect point B”.

Don’t worry if you need some time. Take as long as you like and feel free to revise it as you see fit. It is your “script” after all - you get as many rewrites as you want :)

When you’re done, look at what you wrote. That’s your “greener grass”, at least as you see it today and to make that description mesh with reality requires a little action on your part.

Pick something on your list - just one thing - and think about what you would have to do to integrate that piece into your current puzzle. Going back to school for example, might require that you check into student loans. You’ll definitely need to order a course catalog and schedule and it wouldn’t hurt if you had an idea of what subject matter you’d like to study. Dreaming about writing the Great Novel? Well, actually writing something would be a good start, even if its not the novel you’ve imagined and to complete any kind of writing project, you’ll need to set aside time each day to work on it.

You can’t become a black belt in karate without of course, taking a few lessons so if this is on your list, you might start by checking out the local dojos in your area. If your dream was to become a world-renowned painter, you might consider investing in some brushes and paint.

The point is, while you can’t always move from here to there in one grand step, you can start the journey that will take you there. Think of it as an adventurous road trip, the kind you used to take on a whim before you fell into the place you’ve come to know as “point A”. That script or list that you wrote is your map - all you have to do is figure out where and when you’ll need to stop along the way.

Maybe you take a class at your community college. Maybe you start practicing your French. Maybe you go online and start reading up about becoming a virtual assistant, starting your own alpaca farm or the requirements to become a yoga instructor.

It doesn’t matter where you start, as long as you start and each time you take another step, you are rewriting that script you call life. You’re painting the rooms a different color and rearranging the furniture to better suit your needs. You’re changing the sheets and you’re on your way to finding that greener grass.

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